Want to be friends before dating

People do this because they are simply afraid of being rejected and rationalize the "friendship" as a consolation prize. Ain't nobody got time for that. But I wish that was a workable strategy, because I'd really like it to be about right now in my life. I think that this idea is something people convince themselves of when they're actually too scared to make a move.

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If you want to date them, be honest about that from the start. If you're friends and decide you want to date them, then address it. But being friends first so you can date them later seems dishonest to me. Depends on what kind of person you two are, if you all get along really well, then friendship is bound to happen.

I found that being friends first makes the relationship easier but that could be a uncommon thing. I would be really offended if someone befriended me and I found out much later that they had other motives. You don't need to go all out, start with being friendly - but make your intentions clear earlier rather than later. This also prevents her from pegging you as a friend and the friendzone.

As with most cases, you need to be honest with her and yourself. Ask her out, tell her you like being her friend, but would like to go on a date. If she says yes, cool. If she says no, make it clear that the friendship is important to you. It will be weird for a little while, but after that, things will be normal. I am married to someone that started out as my friend.


I helped her math issues out for months and at some point, I realized the math course had been over weeks ago, but she was still using it as an excuse to meet at the library. I liked her, too, but never thought much about it as I thought we were just friends. As soon as I realized, I went and asked her out. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit.

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Want to add to the discussion? If you're ok with it I'm totally cool with still being friends, we've worked great as friends in the past' if yes: You can do it! Lost a good friend. I hope he's happy. Service was crap too.

It Was Weird and Confusing

I know a lot of people find the friends first approach more relaxed and organic. I embrace whatever works for each individual! But I have NO doubt that the friends first thing is not for me! To go into a new relationship with an intentionally ambiguous maybe-we-will-eventually-have-chemistry is unsatisfactory, confusing, and unappealing to me. The good news is that this is another instance where a specific dating experience provided clarity for me.

But my personality is more comfortable understanding that this relationship is defined as a friendship and nothing more. Bonnie was off the dating market from when she met her now ex-husband till early She has been online dating on-and-off for over 4 years.

She has gone out on at least first dates, interacted with over guys, and reviewed at least profiles. Why put so much pressure on someone because of your own expectations and desires? When you develop a genuine friendship, there are no expectations, you can be yourself, he can be himself, and you can learn everything you want to know about each other.

Be Friends before you get into a relationship. @MYCOACHJOSH

Basically, you put the ball in his hands and you give him the opportunity to lead. Many times, being friends is the best option, although it sucks, and you feel horrible, being friends is not so bad.

Whats your opinion of being friends before dating? : AskMen

You get to know the real him and not who he pretends to be. You can date and get to know other people if you want. You can decide if being friends is better than being in a relationship with him. Being friends gives you the opportunity to be free, free to be who you are, and free to choose to be in a relationship with him or not. When Your Relationship Ends: We are often caught between what we wanted and the reality After years of trying to convince him, you finally decided it was time to give up and walk away, but yet it took you a long time to let go.

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